A Very Important Shoe
by The Wonderful Snipe
Summary: Paul loses his shoe one morning.


A Very Important Shoe  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dune or any of the characters. I do, however, have power over Paul's shoes, and thus, I am almighty. I've only read the first book, and haven't seen the movies. By the way, this fic sucks, but lack of Dune humor fics might make this seem holy.  
  
Or not.  
  
When Paul woke up in the morning, he was thinking very seriously, for he was a serious person. The type of person that ponders over the effect of getting changed and how it would affect Arrakis instead of just putting on his damn clothes. This could have been a Maud'Dib thing, or just an annoying thing, no one quite knew. As Paul thought seriously about the wall colour, his mother just barged in his room. No one really ever knocked, because the thought of Paul ever playing with himself, or getting it on with Chani, seemed deathly remote.  
  
This made Paul sad. He was still a guy.  
  
"Oh god, Paul, are you out of bed yet? With you still in bed, I have no one to nag or bother, and it's like.oh my god, why am I living, you know?" Jessica blared on.  
  
He wondered if the spice had gotten to her head as he sat up, yawning and tuned out his mom. This was a regular teenage talent, not a special Maud'Dib thing. He stood up and gently pushed his mother out into the hallway, where she was still talking and shut the door calmly. Then he turned to look around his room, and picked out some serious looking clothes, changing into them quickly. He pulled out matching socks, and then scanned the room for his shoes. He found one shoe and slid it on. Paul looked thoughtful and looked under the bed.  
  
Nope, no shoe.  
  
Paul opened the bedroom door, to where Jessica was still talking.  
  
"Mother?"  
  
"So I said Fear is the mind killer -"  
  
"Oh, Christ. Mother!"  
  
"Hmm, what?" She snapped out of it.  
  
"Where is my shoe?"  
  
"Your.shoe?"  
  
"That object that goes on my foot."  
  
Jessica looked thoughtfully, "I don't know, son."  
  
"Well, I can't properly be so amazing when I am missing a shoe, you know." Paul snapped and his mother nodded as if agreeing.  
  
She said helpfully, "Maybe Alia knows?"  
  
Paul nodded slightly, and walked down the hallway, limping because of his one shoe on. He passed a Fremen and he blinked at Paul.  
  
"You're missing a shoe."  
  
"Thanks for telling me." Paul said, sighing slightly.  
  
It's so hard being a genius.  
  
He marched on in a serious fashion, passing more Fremen, who were discussing how cool it would be if their eyes were yellow-in-yellow instead of blue-in-blue. Paul bumped in Chani.  
  
"Chani? Have you seen my shoe?"  
  
"I am afraid I haven't." she said and Paul sighed, only it came out as a half groan.  
  
"Would you like me to help you?"  
  
"Yes, and while we are at it, perhaps we could look for a plot." He spoke.  
  
Chani replied, "Smashing idea." And together they popped in and out of closets and rooms, searching for his shoe.  
  
* * *  
  
~5 hours later~  
  
"I need.my..damn..shoe.." Paul said with a half-crazy look in his eyes.  
  
Chani patted his back gently, "We'll find it."  
  
"You don't understand. I cannot lose this shoe. Hence, these shoes will not match, and I will have one POINTLESS SHOE."  
  
"Paul -"  
  
"POINTLESS!" Paul screamed.  
  
The Fremen whimpered slightly, cowering and whimpering. Jessica thought to herself Iwas this the breakdown of the Maud'Dib, like written in the books everyone and their mother can quote out of their ass?/I She wasn't sure, but Paul was grumbling to himself.  
  
Jessica spoke, "My son, we can always buy new shoes -"  
  
"This was my FAVORITE PAIR! FAVORITE! Do you understand? If it wasn't for ME, your lives would have no meaning. NONE! Therefore, help me find my damn SHOE!"  
  
The Fremen whimpered again and suddenly Alia ran in, bouncing and said, "I found your shoe!"  
  
Everyone took off after Alia to follow her, and she lead them to big room where Paul blinked.  
  
"The.Baron.." Chani trailed off.  
  
The Baron was trying to squeeze his foot in Paul's shoe, wearing Paul's clothes. Everyone stared at him, trying to understand just what the hell they were seeing, besides a shitty ending.  
  
"What?" the Baron spoke, looking innocent, "Paul has a lovely body."  
  
-Fin- 


End file.
